Beware sharks bearing "frickin lasers"

I found a funny AUSTRALIA map online.
It purports to show the country's many and varied dangers, including crocs, spiders, snakes, "SHARKS WITH FRICKIN' LASERS" and of course, DANNI MINOGUE.
All kidding aside, Australia is home to some of the world's most dangerous animals.
SYDNEY itself is part of the range of the FUNNEL-WEB.
Bites can be fatal from this big, black hairy spider, but there have been no recorded fatalities since the anti-venom was developed in 1981.
I'm afraid I could find no such reassuring statistics about prolonged exposure to Danni Minogue.